OMG STOP Snowing

This morning I opened my door and stepped outside to greet the morning with about 5 inches of new snow. It is going to be Easter, and April, in two days and there’s more snow on the way.

I’m not familiar with the science, or art, of meteorology so I cannot speak about the subject knowledgeably. That being said, last week we were forecasted to receive a FOOT of snow: 12 inches. At my home we received a dusting. This made me doubt the weather person when she said we should expect snow last night. Guess what? Surprise! She was right as rain…or snow. I found a shovel and a snow brush and dug out my car this morning because I was so confident we weren’t getting snow last night, that I didn’t even BOTHER to put my car in the garage. WRONG.

So this year we’ll just skip the dying of Easter eggs and leave them white. We can just stand on the porch and angrily chuck them from the front stoop. The eggs shouldn’t crack with this pillow of frozen wonder, then we won’t leave footprints either. Good freakin luck kids. Mommy and daddy will be in the warm house drinking hot chocolate with Schnapps because the next time it is forecast to be over freezing is more than 10 DAYS from now.

My silver lining? Chocolate won’t melt, so guess what? That bunny had better be hauling a giant chocolate bunny my way(preferably dark) because mama is SICK of snow.

Don’t get me wrong: I love snow. I’m usually the one cheering for blizzards and taking photos of snow drenched tree limbs with a sundog in the background, oh so beautiful…but I’m dafuque over it. It became frigidly cold before Christmas this year. That means we have clocked over three months of cold-cold winter this year. Some years we are celebrating St Patrick’s day in tee shirts and last year I had to buy jelly beans and other gross non-melting candies for the Easter egg hunt because it was just too warm. Not this year. We have a fresh half-foot of snow and are expected to get another batch of equal or deeper proportions tonight.

If anyone is looking for me, I’ll be basting my Easter ham with bourbon, along with my sorrows.



Birthday Cakes Blahs

On my 17th birthday my dad made me a birthday cake. It was chocolate. Chocolate was my favorite. I was so consumed with going to hang out with my friends, I took a quick photo and then went out to meet them. I don’t even remember if I ate a piece of cake. My dad passed away less than six months later.

Today is my birthday. I have no cake. Today marks the point that I have been legally an adult as long as I was a child. I’m 36. What normally is a happy day has me feeling very reflective and meloncholly which isn’t usually my style.

Instead of being wrapped up in the poor-me or the so-sad mindframe I try to look at the bright side and the opportunity.

If you are finding yourself in a place of not-so-niceness, remember all the good things, all of your accomplishments and eat the damn cake. 20B1D515-3672-47CE-9B2E-E98465641BD4.jpeg

Winter Show!!!

Well NoDak Mother Nature is drunk again…every year(that I’ve lived in NoDak) since I was a little girl, I have tromped through the mud and jumped the puddles to go to the North Dakota Winter Show in Valley City. It is coincidentally held around, or during, my birthday every year. The North Dakota Winter Show is the longest-running agriculture show in North Dakota. As a kid, we would head up to the winter show barn. The air smelled of sawdust, livestock, fair food and cigarette smoke(it was the early 90s). Dad would have us lie about our age so he could save a buck on admission, and we’d go in and gawk at all of the booths; some were ag-themed, some not-to-much.
There has been a guy selling balloons shaped like critters and light-up toys since the beginning of time: he’s always to the right of the entrance, just on the other side of the information booth. There’s the guy wearing a headset and doing his own little cooking show while trying to sell cookware…Hubby and I own a set-he’s very convincing! There’s the soft serve ice cream booth, bedazzled western purses and hats, tools from hand-tools to combines, you can find experts in booking hunting excursions, real estate, reflexology and everything in between. There are dealers in vehicles, hot tubs, corn stoves, creams and salves, windows, welcome mats and honey.

Besides all of the booth-shopping, there are events happening during the show. In the main arena there are rodeos, livestock judging, horse pulls, tractor pulls, pickup pulls, and if pulling isn’t your thing-there’s even a concert scheduled during the show. There’s also a small stage where speakers with agronomic topics or lesser-known family entertainers can distract the crowd. There’s a children’s weekend where inflatables and yard games are set up, so a family can take a break from the weather and let the kids run off some steam.

And…let’s not forget the food! It’s fair food in the late winter/spring. If you want a footlong corndog with a side of mini donuts, you’re covered. Nachos with a side of cotton candy? Done. How about a bison burger stacked with some cheese curds with a side of kettle corn? You are welcome. Yes, if nothing else-it’s a great lunch escape.

The winter show is educational, entertaining, and sometimes a guilty lunch pleasure, plus there’s the nostalgia of an event that people have been going to for 81 years! The North Dakota Winter Show ushers in spring and allows families to make memories with their kiddos the same way their parents, grandparents and maybe great grandparents did with them. There aren’t a whole lot of those opportunities still around. So even if drunken Mother Nature has decided that we’ll be trudging through snow instead of mud this year, my family will be attending the North Dakota Winter Show. If you get a chance, I suggest you do the same.