OMG STOP Snowing

This morning I opened my door and stepped outside to greet the morning with about 5 inches of new snow. It is going to be Easter, and April, in two days and there’s more snow on the way.

I’m not familiar with the science, or art, of meteorology so I cannot speak about the subject knowledgeably. That being said, last week we were forecasted to receive a FOOT of snow: 12 inches. At my home we received a dusting. This made me doubt the weather person when she said we should expect snow last night. Guess what? Surprise! She was right as rain…or snow. I found a shovel and a snow brush and dug out my car this morning because I was so confident we weren’t getting snow last night, that I didn’t even BOTHER to put my car in the garage. WRONG.

So this year we’ll just skip the dying of Easter eggs and leave them white. We can just stand on the porch and angrily chuck them from the front stoop. The eggs shouldn’t crack with this pillow of frozen wonder, then we won’t leave footprints either. Good freakin luck kids. Mommy and daddy will be in the warm house drinking hot chocolate with Schnapps because the next time it is forecast to be over freezing is more than 10 DAYS from now.

My silver lining? Chocolate won’t melt, so guess what? That bunny had better be hauling a giant chocolate bunny my way(preferably dark) because mama is SICK of snow.

Don’t get me wrong: I love snow. I’m usually the one cheering for blizzards and taking photos of snow drenched tree limbs with a sundog in the background, oh so beautiful…but I’m dafuque over it. It became frigidly cold before Christmas this year. That means we have clocked over three months of cold-cold winter this year. Some years we are celebrating St Patrick’s day in tee shirts and last year I had to buy jelly beans and other gross non-melting candies for the Easter egg hunt because it was just too warm. Not this year. We have a fresh half-foot of snow and are expected to get another batch of equal or deeper proportions tonight.

If anyone is looking for me, I’ll be basting my Easter ham with bourbon, along with my sorrows.

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