Oh the JEANS!

Day 15 and I’m wearing THE jeans! I’m wearing the freaking jeans from my Beginning Again post. I couldn’t even THINK of wearing these 2 weeks ago, they weren’t even close to clasping. FIFTEEN DAYS. What magical hole have I fallen through???

Here is the thing. A scale is a scale. Numbers are numbers. If you tell me I gained or lost 5 pounds, meh, sounds mediocre. I believe all kinds and shapes of people are beautiful and worthy and valued. I do like feeling great though. If you tell me I won’t feel like a stuffed kielbasa in my tee shirts and I can wear jeans, the jeans that have been banished to my closet because those sons-of-b’s don’t fit anyway. If you tell me here’s the plan, eat this at that time, drink the water. That’s it. Okay I’m listening.

Who am I kidding, listening is past tense, I listened. Take my money, give me the food, and let me wear the jeans!

After 3-5 days of caffeine and sugar withdrawal headaches, being fatigued and pretty murdery-cranky, I woke up feeling GOOD. I felt like I’ve got this. I felt like all was not lost. On Day 7 I tried on the jeans and was shocked to find that they were SO CLOSE to clasping! Day 9-I buttoned the jeans! Now being able to button the jeans and being able to wear said-jeans all day long, aren’t always the same, so I gave it almost another week and decided today was the day. I took the tags off, and wore the jeans, all…dang…day.

Now I’m going to have to go find another pair of jeans in my closet that don’t fit and see how long until I can wear those jeans!

I’m not looking to be wafer-thin. I will eat and drink the things, but not now. Now I’m going to drink water and find the next pair of jeans long hidden in the back of my closet and see how long it takes to fit into them.

Beginning Again

I am the biggest I have ever been. EW. You know it wouldn’t be so dang bad if I never had to walk up a flight of stairs or if jeans were more stretchy, but this is getting quasi-ridiculous. I decided I had to do something. One of my friends, who I trust, I think of her and me like two warped peas grown in the same garden. She has been having great success with this program that gives you the food mixes for most of your day and then you cook one meal yourself.

I am VERY busy in my work life at this time of year, so I have often thought if someone just brought me the food, and told me when to eat-I could do that. It’s the “let’s work 4 hours of exercise into our week” and take 20 minutes each morning to reflect business that seems unmanageable.

I know I’ve been drinking more than I should, snacking more than I should, skipping breakfast (sometimes lunch) and basically have allowed myself to slump into every single bad eating habit a person can have. I thought: if someone would just give me a shake and say “Drink this NOW.” I can do that. So I thought…

I decided: that’s it. I’m not buying bigger pants. I’m already wearing my fat pants, and now they’re feeling more like skinny pants. Everything I own makes me feel like a stuffed sausage. That’s it! I’ve gotta drop some weight, ANY weight.

So I reached out to my warped-pea-in-a-pod friend and asked her what she’s doing. She gave me her coach’s link and the coach called me a day or two later. I told her, she didn’t have to sell me-I’m in. I had a couple last hurrah meals, and then started drinking water and conditioning myself on Sunday, and then “started” on Tuesday. I am also an avid Diet Mountain Dew drinker and generally like drinking a couple cocktails after dinner and maybe some salty snack. I am in FULL WITHDRAWAL MODE.

My head feels like it is being straight-up CRUSHED in a vice. Between the sugar and caffeine withdrawals I have earned a pounding headache and a general hatred for humanity, but I’m doing it. I’m physically feeling better. I noticed day three that my body feels better, like it’s functioning better. When I’m down in the laundry room, I’m not making up excuses to not take another trip upstairs, I’m just doing the multiple trips. I’m hungry, but not all of the time, because sometimes I’m looking for a snack-but just because it’s my habit. I’m all about breaking these bad habits!

The caffeine withdrawals are no joke though. My head is in a vice. I’m snapping at people. Hubby told me “I don’t know if you need a bulldog or a Mountain Dew, but you need SOMETHING.” I went and took a drive around the block a couple times then went home and went to sleep. I’ve got this. In the words of Scarlett O’Hara “after all tomorrow is another day!”

There ain’t no shame in the Begin Again game, it’s when you quit, that’s when it’s truly game over.